I’d make it so that liquid soap dispensers sounded like they were struggling to nut quietly each time you pressed down.
You must log in or register to comment.
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
If your post meets the following criteria, it’s welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
Icon by @Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de
- 0 users online
- 217 users / day
- 934 users / week
- 2.44K users / month
- 5.59K users / 6 months
- 1 subscriber
- 3.07K Posts
- 119K Comments
- Modlog
I quite like the (I think?) Jewish curse: “may your laundry never dry”. That would suck wearing clothes that are always slightly damp.
Calm down Satan!
I know you jest, but the more you think about it, the nastier a curse it is. For example, your crack would always be itchy. You’d never be able to put your clothes away because mold would devour them. And so on.
You could never wear socks because your feet would get diseased.
Exactly. It would suck.
That’s terrible, haha.
Every set of stairs has one step that is slightly taller than the rest
Don’t bother with steps that are each different — making steps the wrong height/length is enough. If you ever walked up/down stairs that felt really weird it’s probably because the builder ignored the international standards on that topic and built steps that are a couple centimeters off.
I’m sure you mean all the heights are a little different, but I’m envisioning where every step has to be taller than the previous one and the shenanery that would happen to make long stair cases navigable. Start with teeny tiny steps to end with uncomfortably large ones.
You monster.
You know how you sometimes get a pebble stuck under your shoe and walking just feels weird until you remove it?
That, but there’s no actual pebble.
I already have that curse tyvm
So everyone has corns?
Everytime you open a door it moans with pleasure.
This answer is brought to you by the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation
Marvin hates it.
Thematic w/ mine, I like it!
Bell ringing sound every time you get an erection
That could be deafening in certain public spaces.
This one’s my favorite
Jimmy Valner
You lose the ability to differentiate between a fart and a poo.
Crohns and colitis say hi
Old. You’re describing what it’s like to get old.
No matter how hard one squeezes, there’s ALWAYS three or four drops of pee leftover, poised to strike after one finishes their business.
^This person right here officer.
wind makes everyone ticklish
That tornado sure sounds fun…
The good thing I can say is that Bob died laughing.
The bad thing is that if he hadn’t been laughing so much he might not have been standing there laughing when the wind threw a telephone pole at him.
Make it so that when you arrive home you’re never allowed to put your keys in the same place more than once.
Forgot something in the car and have to go back out? Time to find a new spot…
Oh hey, it’s like ADHD for everyone!
Surviving adhd’er does a “spot” count if my keys are always attached to my pants?
As the rulemaker I’d say that’s fair game, but you’d have to keep them strapped to your pajamas otherwise that’s when you’d need to find a spot.
I think my wife has this curse already.
Did this already happen? Because I never put them in the same place and am constantly rushing to find them lol.
Eyelids become translucent. In other words, you can still see anything and everything when your eyes are closed.
You own a lot of stock in eyemasks?
I own The Eyemask Emporium.
I liked their eye masks so much, I bought the place
This would be awesome! No need for underwater goggles anymore! I could shut my eyes against strong winds and still see!
You would still see your eyelashes though. Also, sleeping would be a bit more challenging.
All doors you try to open actually open the opposite direction
What’s new here?
Pocket doors would be a euclidean nightmare
You must greet everyone you meet with a handshake and ten seconds of uninterrupted eye contact. Forced smiles and a serious talk about how you really are doing are also mandatory.
Pretty awkward if you ask me :)
Neurodivergent hell.
switch locations of penis and anus
Stand back girls I know how to twerk it
Good lord.
You never hear someone the first couple times they try to pay you a compliment
Mirror every object. You don’t realize how many things are designed with a right-handed assumption unless you aren’t right handed. Also, most people can’t read well anymore because it’s all backwards
I’d say reading is back to normal after 2-3 days tops for most people.
I used to tutor math at a company that insisted that we write upside down so the page was always facing the students. It really did only take like 3 days for it to feel natural.