A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
If your post meets the following criteria, it’s welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
Icon by @Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de
- 0 users online
- 735 users / day
- 1.13K users / week
- 2.58K users / month
- 5.87K users / 6 months
- 1 subscriber
- 3.13K Posts
- 121K Comments
- Modlog
To be happy. Depression is hell.
I’m sorry to hear that my guy
Honestly same.
I just want to be happy (◞‸◟)
The first step to happiness is to have hope. Think about a lifelong dream of your’s, and then form a plan on how to achieve it.
I’m all for hope, but clinical depression is lifelong. There’s always going to be ups and extreme downs. Stating that happiness is an end stage that people with clinical depression can reach and maintain isn’t realistic.
I have clinical depression. Speaking from experience here.
Same.
Walking again would be nice.
Oh bro I’m sorry
I take my wish back and instead wish you get to walk again too
Thanks. It’s been three years and I miss it. I’ll be pretty happy just to get back to hobbling with a cane.
…I think we both have a long ways to go until retirement. Maybe a career change is in order?
What happened if I may ask?
And yeah you’re probably right. I’ve been wanting to try start my own company of one for a long time, but I’m just too scared to step out of my comfort zone despite life giving me great opportunities to switch and I’m once again staring at one in the face right now.
I have Charcot’s. So far we’ve managed to keep my legs attached but they’re in rough shape.
I know it can be scary but sometimes you just have to take the leap. Years ago I moved across the country with just what I could fit in my car and it ended up being the best decision of my life. It could go wrong or it could be the smartest thing you’ve ever done. You won’t know unless you try.
Man that’s rough… It’s really hard to appreciate things we take for granted untill it’s taken away. I really feel for the blind and people unable to walk. I couldn’t imagine having to go thru that myself. It really is things that just happens to other people and not me untill it does. I hope future medicine and science has an ace up in its sleeve to help people like you.
To retire. I’m not even 40 yet but I dread going to work every morning. I don’t even hate my work - I just don’t feel like even the relatively good salary I get is enough to compensate for the lost time.
I think I know what you mean. I’ve hit a phase where time spent at work feels like wasted time, since it’s not time I got to spend doing something I wanted to be doing. Which is really contrary to the usual philosophy that time not spent money is wasted.
I’ve switched jobs gone back to school etc, but no matter what once something becomes a mandatory routine that time feels like a waste. I’m starting to really value and cherish the seconds I actually have control over.
This feeling gets worse when you realize that the time we have is a limited, non-renovating and exhaustible resource. We give this away for money over and over until we run out. Depressing as fuck.
I took 9 months off work (well kinda I did some freelance shit but I mostly got to not work). I did eventually get bored but it took 6 of those 9 months to actually get bored lol. It may have been different if I had enough money to do whatever I wanted but, I had enough to survive.
I had a year long paid leave and that confirmed for me that my sense of meaning is in no way tied to my work.
To me, it just showed me that I can essentially do whatever I want to make myself happy. Work, not work, hobbies, whatever is right for the moment.
Yeah. I don’t necessarily even want to retire right now, it’s more that hanging axe feeling that I’m never going to be able to, between decreasing purchasing power and increasing age requirements for retirement benefits. Makes it hard to get motivated to work knowing I’m going to have to keep doing it until I’m in my grave.
Socialism and stability. I want to persue my passions without needing to devote half of my waking hours to a job (which all are incredibly mentally draining for me), and without fear of not having my basic needs met, and I want everyone else to have the same opportunity. A job should be supplimental if people choose to work, which many will, as they feel it gives them purpose.
A post-scarcity society and the death of corruption would be cool too.
Yeah it’s always strange to me that most people are working class yet most people are so allergic to the idea of socialism, thanks Russia
P r o p a g a n d a
Also the history of centralized control over industry hasn’t worked out too well. I’m more of the Richard Wolff philosophy of democracy over the workplace, along with a very strong social safety net, including, but not limited to a UBI that is enough for people to comfortably live on.
If everyone got UBI, no one would eventually be able to live comfortably off it.
Edit: Also, “propaganda” but “the history of centralized control over industry hasn’t worked out too well” LOL
Huummm… thanks Russia? And not the CIA? Why would Russia be responsible for people hating socialism?
Well whatever, the whole Soviet thing didn’t really go very well
It ended really badly, but how did it not go very well during it? Honest question here.
It devolved into authoritarianism with Stalin.
Authoritarianism doesn’t really mean much. And according to the US (through the CIA) itself, Stalin-era USSR was more democratic than appeared in western media.
https://www.cia.gov/readingroom/docs/CIA-RDP80-00810A006000360009-0.pdf
But in any case, even if that was the case, it wasn’t “authoritarian” after Stalin. Like y’know, most countries after WW2 (not just Italy and Germany btw. Or people forget Churchill and FDR, and the “war economies”? The internment camps, jailing of “political dissidents” etc. etc.).
To be born a woman but since that’s not possible it would be that my transition works fast and well.
All the best for your transition. :)
Thank you :)
Same
How old are you if you don’t mind me asking?
24 rn, 25 in about 2 Months
Thank you for answering :) Good luck to you!
ty :3
For the world to be un-fucked – the ultra-wealthy (and system as a whole) giving a damn about people, the climate, etc. There are many other things I want, but if I could have anything, this would be it.
Tldr : world peace
I want to go to sleep
For how long?
Until I wake up naturally instead of by an alarm clock or a cat attacking my toes
I just wanna like chill with no responsibilities or overhead for a bit
I keep thinking about how retirement is only… 30 years away. Yup. Only 30 more years then I get a few where I don’t have to do the mundane drudgery.
Moving on with my life.
I’m near the end of my PhD. I’ve been at this lab for 5 years, as I joined before beginning my PhD, and I’ve been at the same university for 11ish years since I started my bachelor’s. I deliver my thesis in April if all goes well, and can’t wait to see what life has in store for me elsewhere.
I love most of my coworkers, but a few drive me nuts (and everyone else, too, and I tend to be a good mediator so I always end up in a position where I’m the only one who tries to help the troublesome guys). My main supervisor moved to another country a few years ago, and the one that took me in (the only other person with PhD students in the whole lab) hates my project (she has explicitly said so) and can’t wait to get me to work on what everyone else is working on. Meanwhile my other supervisor (the one that moved) has recommended that I let go of the few responsibilities I had in this lab (apart from my project), which is a good decision, but has made me feel like I no longer belong here. Since I’m also retracting a bit to work on some papers, I feel increasingly isolated even though I love my coworkers.
Can’t wait to finally get this over with and have an actual career in a lab where people don’t hate my project, or even an industry job where I can feel like I actually make a difference. I’m also a bit fed up with the conditions in my country and would like to try moving somewhere where nanotech is actually in demand, like the Netherlands or something. Maybe I’ll even risk a dramatic move to Asia!
Get a Japanese wife 😏
Not the answer I was expecting, but I did come out of a break up recently so whatever life has in store for me I guess
Are you also read as female? Because then your boss might just feel that you steal her show. Academia is highly competitive for women and maybe you can try to mitigate that by finding out what you can do to get on her sunny side.
In my experience if people hate (very strong word!) projects at work, it’s usually rather the case that they’re unhappy with their own work and project this jealousy onto others.
Usually happens within the same gender, or between people who identify as binary against enbies.
I’m sorry, I am fully male-presenting (and was assigned male at birth - which is relevant as my boss is super conservative and would not tolerate a trans person in her office. The LGBTQ lay low here).
My supervisor, however, IS read as female, and I fully suspect that she is who my boss has a problem with. Especially after she left, as my boss saw this as a personal betrayal of sorts. And since my own project is inexorably linked to my supervisor, I get these reactions by association.
Ah yes, makes sense. F
That my country would stop being so god damn stupid.
Can I ask what country?
Sweden
What’s stupid there?
3 things.
Well, it’s +/- the same for all Western Europe I guess. I’m from France and we also witness our then really strong public services getting weaker and weaker. Privatisation and less stated owned, leaning a bit towards the (beware, hot take) fucked up US system.
Regarding immigration, we do have a problem here : people coming to France can’t be welcomed in good conditions. We must either stop or reduce it (right wing answer) or invest way more than we do now to welcome them more decently (left wing answer). But something needs to be done indeed.
Sorry for the rant
whats wrong with sweden?
Yeah me too, stupid god damn country
Why?
Sigh 😮💨, same… in Philippines.
To be loved.
Social cues are a bitch.
Yes, yes they are
To not have to work another day in my life. Sure I could say to be excessively wealthy but I’m happy with satisfying basic needs and living in my simple home. All I want is to be able to wake up every day without the crushing burden of having to keep a job that keeps the spectre of starvation and homelessness away for another few days.
Live in a country where I can legally marry my boyfriend, have a little nice place and not be bothered by people.
To go back to sleep for another few hours
I want to be happy.
Came here to say something similar. Currently hating life and fantasizing how I’d quit my job and burn this bridge
A cure for my arthritis, I’m tired of it and it’s fucking uncurable.
To be able to live a simple life of relative comfort that’s not filled with the constant worry that people more rich/powerful than me are going to fuck up my life in ways I can imagine and other ways I can’t.
I want to live my life as I want it
Sadly, capitalism doesn’t agree
“Hey everyone, let’s build a system where we spend the vast majority of our time working for others so we can make enough money to just get by and occasionally have a vacation!”
In retrospect, this was not a great plan.
Cuddles
Cuddles are pretty nice, you should join AA lol we share a tonne of cuddles
Alright but I’ll have to become an alcoholic first
I mean there’s probably easier ways to.get cuddles, maybe a.get a dog?
no thanks I’d rather have a human, maybe a twi’lek if I had no other choice
Hug from someone who cares ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ
I don’t know why but this one make me cry… I think i also meed a hug ༼ つ ◕‿◕ ༽つ
Yeah me too
Love. But, it takes time.
To be home, with my wife.
The problem with finding a perfect person, is having to spend time away from them.
Someone said to me the other day when I shared about a similar feeling with them
Having to spend time apart gives you both time how much you miss each other and cherish the time you spend with another
To find somebody to love and that would reciprocate that love.
I had it at one point in time with 2 people, but they passed away 2 days apart from each other.
I hope to be able to find love like that again.
I’m sorry brother (or sister)
To stop doom scrolling, get off this toilet and to bed
I would like to know how it feels to be competent at a job - any job. In my four decades on this earth I still haven’t managed to find out what I want to be when I grow up. I’ve had many jobs over the years but never ever felt like I was decent at any of them. They’re usually the kinds of jobs people don’t want to do so I’m decently job-secure despite my ineptitude.
I just want to say that paid employment doesn’t need to be what defines you. A lot of people never ‘find their passion’ or ‘follow their dream’. It’s very ok to just work for money. You don’t need to be a superstar at work. You can just enjoy the paycheck part of the job. Just do something to make money, that’s fine. You probably underestimate the value of just showing up regularly, even if you think the quality of your work is below what you want, literally just showing up on time and doing the job is putting you ahead of at least half the people who do those jobs.
Ever heard about the Dunning-Kruger effect?
Sure, and impostor syndrome. But both of those are supposed to be transient, and people eventually ease into their roles and lose their doubts about their abilities. That never happened to me. I’ve also never stuck around anywhere long enough to get promoted above rank and file so I don’t have a single worthwhile achievement to put on my CV for prospective future employers.
On top of that, I’m fairly sure my current job will not even exist in a year or 5 due to AI, so I’m already looking for a completely different alternative/field unrelated to my current one.
I’ve been going at my job for over 6 years now and I have turned down promotions because they would make me worse off in several respects. Most workers are “rank and file”, by definition; we can’t all be managers.
No one would work then. (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
Stability. Life has been so tumultuous this past year and I just want things to level out.
Boyfriend
Same. Feels hopeless sometimes.
Some freakin lotion dude my hands have alligator skin rn fr
A job and a decent earning.
For my husband and I to experience even just one day without back pain. It’s debilitating.
Sleep on the floor, assuming your mattress is trash.
You probably won’t sleep well, and your back is going to scream when you get up in the morning because you’re trying to sleep on a firm surface the way you sleep on a plush bed, but the pain will dissipate shortly thereafter.