I havenβt been yet personally, but I have a lot of friends who go every year. Some of the things that they love about going are the big cultures around consent, the random awesome and unique things that you find everywhere, spending time with friends, a lack of money economy, being your completely human self w/o any judgement, and basically stepping into a world thatβs separate from the rest of society. Youβll find a lot of these things at local burns as well. If you are getting curious, I would really encourage the latter. Regional or local burns are like mini burning men with a similar vibe, but a lot more conscientious and tight-knit. The best way to get into one is to find a facebook group for the one closest to you. Sometimes theyβll meet up outside the events, and you can go to ask questions and to coordinate. Since thereβs a lack of money economy, everything is done either with trades or with shared responsibility. Thereβs something at burning man called βradical responsibilityβ where each person is responsible for their own wellness and contributions. So you canβt go expecting there to be vendors or other people with food or water or what have you β itβs important to figure those things out ahead of time so that way youβre not a burden on others (which allows you to be a contributing member of the community and show up fully). Like I said I havenβt actually been, so I donβt know the full details, but thatβs most of what I do know! Most people Iβve met that go are some of the most interesting people I know and really know how to party and what lifeβs about for themselves, so I recommend finding out more :)
Thereβs also looria.com/reddit, which gives product recommendations based on the thoughts from different hobby subs. :)
Iβm sure there are some people on here that might have read it, but I havenβt met many, so my pick is the Enderβs Game saga. There are currently 19 books and Iβve read at least 10 of them. Itβs a really easy read, as someone who struggles to get into more complicated writing styles. Some people might be so-so about it due to some of the authorβs personal beliefs, but I really adore the lore itself. It offers a ton of different flavors to future visions, alien relations, psychology, and humanity.
Speaking as someone that started with little experience, I love Adam Ragusea and Pro Home Cooks. Both explain things you never thought to ask about cooking and concepts that you can apply across lots of different dishes. Iβve learned things that I still continue to think about long after watching whenever Iβm making up some food :)
Sounds like brain fog. Speaking as a fellow sufferer of anxiety (health anxiety included), I know how it is see something that seems wrong with you and try to pin a cause onto it. Are you being social? Keeping up with sleep, food, exercise? I know those are overstated but it sounds like youβre having some brain fog. The more you focus in on the fog the more it may seem pronounced, as brain fog is highly influenced by stress. Iβve suffered from some myself and have felt kind of tuned out for a while. A large part of it for me has been from the shock of different life changes and the endless stress of work and relationships. The fog in that situation doesnβt get a chance to subside because the body is trying to get through sustained stress with little damage.
It could also be from imbalances of vitamins like vitamin d or iron. Just to be clear, I highly doubt it was from the burning cable. Itβs definitely not good for you, but people smoke cigarettes and breathe road fumes for decades without losing the mental capacity youβre describing here. Funky stuff happens when we look back on our past selves too, I feel like itβs hard to make a fair comparison to yourself at any prior point when you factor in a lot of things that happen in-between. I donβt doubt what youβve been experiencing though. Sounds crappy. I hope you give yourself a chance to consider all of the possibilities and be easier on yourself for not functioning at 100% right now β it doesnβt mean itβs forever or that it means something big, it could just be your capacity right now.
The number one thing Iβve heard from avoidant people is that perfectly human emotions, albeit perhaps unfitting for the situation, are βclingyβ or βtoo much.β They donβt know how to ask for things like space and own their own needs. Itβs much easier to instead blame their inner turmoil and resistance on the relationship by singling out that one thing they think is wrong with it. That way they donβt have to be vulnerable and admit theyβre imperfect too. Iβm sure you might know all of this anyway, but just a reminder that itβs okay and healthy to be a lil clingy and worried. Not your fault.
Yeah, itβs a bit hard when youβre dealing with industry standards. Iβm provided CC through work so itβs not really my choice, but it sounds like Affinity still isnβt a 1:1 option. Iβve been interested in it so Iβm glad to hear the other side of things. Itβs easy to go FOSS for most personal things, but not as much when it comes to doing business.
Iβm ashamed to admit I do the same thing!! Both of those. Lol. If Iβm putting out a bunch of boxes in the recycling I always worry people will think Iβve got valuables or something nice and target me. Also identity theft is no joke. Itβs annoying that credit card companies send so much semi-sensitive stuff via mail.
I had something similar happen a few years back. I had matched on tinder with someone from a different state that I actually met years ago in high school. I hadnβt really been interested in him that way back then, but we reconnected and it was intense. We talked everyday and our birthdays both fell on the same weekend, so I went down there to visit him and celebrate together. Only a couple days in, he told me one night that he was falling in love with me. We built a pillow fort, partied, and went hiking together. I was absolutely smitten and so excited to start something new.
I ended up putting off the rest of my road trip to stay longer with him. However, when I finally did leave, I was driving through miles of desert when he texted me and said that he actually didnβt see anything happening between us. He said that he wanted someone who knew when to βleave him the f aloneβ and wasnβt looking for someone who wanted something super deep, but more so just companionship. It felt like such a rejection of who I was and I was gutted. I felt like it was somehow my fault. Since I didnβt have signal, it was a rough drive alone with my thoughts.
Towards the end of the night, I ended up texting with a friend about it while I camped out (still on my road trip). It sucked at the time but looking back, he was kind of a prick. He had no shame about leading me on and he picked on me for little things while I was visiting him.
Itβs usually a bad sign when things feel so intense right off the bat. Itβs only easy for this guy to leave because he really doesnβt know you well enough to know what heβs missing out on. It might feel like you missed some chance, but it isnβt your fault that this happened and there wasnβt more you could do. Be gentle with yourself. β€οΈ This guy wasnβt honest with himself or with you about his feelings, and he ended up hurting you for it. Itβs clear to me that he likely isnβt mature enough for you. Remind yourself that you were willing to go the distance, right? You did everything you could have. You want someone who will go the distance with you and follow you to the ends of the earth, and tbh, itβs much more likely something to do with him, not you. Meaning that even if the distance wasnβt an issue, you donβt know if it would work either.
And you donβt have to get over it right away. Itβs okay to just kind of drag through the days for a bit. But keep socializing, because other nice (and even attractive!) people will remind you that you still have something left and youβre worth kindness from others. And do things for yourself. When I get lost after heartbreak, what has helped a lot is going for walks or hikes, sometimes on trails where the signal is iffy (so I donβt expect a surprise text), with an audiobook or some music. I really wish you the most kindness. Feel free to shoot me a message if you need any extra support, Iβve been there.
Iβm sorry youβve been feeling depressed. I know how that can make it difficult to start getting into other things. I have a couple suggestions. One is to just let yourself get bored enough to wander around the internet and find cool things. If you find something you want to try like an art tutorial, donβt pressure yourself or anything, just give it a go! I made a lot of art in high school using stuff like photoshop or free programs and it eventually got me into graphic design. I sometimes wish I still had the time to mess around with stuff like that! And another one, if youβre into tech and want to try new hobbies, you might be able to volunteer at the local makerspace which would give you a membership there. I used to not have a lot of hobbies, but I got into 3d printing. Itβs so fun to make stuff without needing talent. If you canβt afford a hobby like that, a makerspace would let you try out stuff like that and meet other people with creative hobbies like coding, 3d printing, and making robots. :)
Depends. Is the loneliness a byproduct of choices made for happiness in other aspects of your life, like moving to a new city or being picky about your social circle? Are you choosing to stay in and not interact for certain reasons? Or is the loneliness caused by things you canβt control, like people leaving or mental health issues?
If itβs the former, I say embrace it and work on focusing less on how you think your life should look. Pay attention to the things that you love by yourself. Take in the moments any moment where you notice youβre having a great time and donβt have to stop due to someone else. Imagine you just got done with a 12 hour road trip with someone who talks too much and breathe in the silence and peace of the moment. Listen to rain or cars rushing by. Sometimes, I find that loneliness can be caused by feeling like youβre missing out on something but maybe wouldnβt even make you happy. There are lots of people who feel lonely in their families or friendships or relationships.
If itβs the latter, Iβd work up to a more comfortable and satisfying level of socialization. It takes time. In that process, youβll hopefully find yourself leaning pickier and finding out what works and what doesnβt. Be selfish. Learn to spend time with people and then decide for yourself whether you want to keep spending time with them. Treat your energy and presence like precious rubies. They are! Invest in who matters most to you and keeps you feeling good after you leave. This will build your confidence and belief in your worth and motivate you to keep working on the things that keep you from happiness. Ending loneliness isnβt a goal you get to, itβs a side effect of choosing people who see the real you and doing the self care of letting others in. :)