For a smaller instance I would always go with PieFed, it’s much much easier to set up and to maintain, uses way less resources and has basically the same feature set.

Resources:

• small VPS like the smallest from Hetzner for example
• Linux installed on it
• Postgresql database
• Python 3 and pip installed
• domain to point to that server
• letsencrypt certificate to run it with https which is necessary to federate

I think that should be it.

You need a computer and an Internet connection that isn’t too restrictive. Install Yunohost on it (or on a VM) and then the Lemmy app. It’s not perfect, but it will work. That’s what I do.

If you mean running the lemmy software on your own hardware to have your own instance, you don’t need programming skills for that. Self-hosting things is a related but different skillset. There’s a decent learning curve, though.

If you are familiar with self-hosting, you can probably set up a Lemmy instance pretty easily. If you are not, then running a publically federating service is probably not a good starting point. You should be able to search up a beginners guide to self-hosting, or take a look at !selfhosted@lemmy.world. I think hosting a personal wiki is a good starting point, since it is then a good place to write down everything you’ve learnt!

An iPad isn’t really a good server. You could use an old laptop or pay for a cheap VPS as a starting point. Many people start with a Raspberry Pi.