Oh my gosh, I truly appreciate your post and it has made me think about my grandma, etc, but I have to comment here as a mom of grown children: children take a very personal passion and work that can at times be super affirming, but being a parent WILL NOT help you accept and love yourself!!!
The pitfalls are the same as in any meaningful effort and the importance will magnify the failures as much or more than the successes.
I’m not sure what specifically is meant by phonics. My grandma taught first grade for 30 years, ending around 2000. She said when phonics came in “that’s just teaching reading” and when phonics went out “well, obviously we still have to teach how the alphabet works” and when phonics came in again “eye roll”. So, whatever the school leadership says, my guess is kids are learning phonics.