I have no advice for you, as I live in a very humid place without very much risk of static shocks. I just want to say this question and post are hilarious.

I like how you can tell who didn’t read your whole post by them giving you real advice about not taking this job

Wefwef still uses the Lemmy API. It would still be subject to the same pricing farce as all other third-party apps. If you’re going to do that…why build a new app?