On the list- Record podcast with some friends, fix a kitchen drawer and adjust some doors, mow my lawn, laundry. So far I’ve done everything but the mowing. And at this point I have zero intention of doing it. Partly because it’s time to eat jelly beans and watch YouTube but mostly because I’d have to finish cleaning the trash out of my yard I started cleaning yesterday. The excuse for not doing that is trash doesn’t get picked up till Thursday.

This isn’t true at all. He’d be shipped to El Salvador for being brown first.

Fresh clean sheets on a well made bed daily.

I have 3 kids. I’ve never lied to them about Santa. I’ve always told them that the idea behind Xmas was kindness and giving and left it at that, and that the whole Santa thing was just a fun story to play along with, like the tooth fairy or social equality.

“If you’re not falling, you’re not learning”. No idea who said it but it was about skateboarding at the time. It works for everything though.

“You gotta learn to live between the lines”. From Big Deal by the Dead Milkmen.

It’s the red heat lamp. They gotta be kept warm for a few weeks and it makes our living room look like Kramers apartment.

Hey now. On a good day and if you squint, I could pass as a 6. Maybe 6.5.

Yeah, I hear you but context is important. She’s good and safe, so am I. We have 2 kids together, been together for 20 years, have ducks, a rabbit, share all expenses and income exactly 50/50 and have had each others back through the worst of other people.

Yeah. Been together for like 20 years now.

Not a pick up line but- “I don’t think I can do better than you and I know you can’t do better than me, so I guess we should just get married.” She sighed and said “yeah, you’re probably right”.

I’m a simple man with simple desires. I’m also probably chaotic natural.

I’d like to be able to give people arch cramps by making eye contact and saying “bipity bopity boo” quietly.

Alan Carr- the easy way to quit smoking. It actually helps but you have to want to quit and really, actually follow the instructions. It works though.

I try to learn something every year. One year it was to solve a rubiks cube, one year it was how to ride a unicycle. Juggle. Magic tricks. Shit like that. My thought is that if I need a resolution to change something negative or start doing something positive, I shouldn’t wait till 1/1 to start that, I should start that as soon as I see a problem/opportunity.