I was thinking that one was probably the worst one but was thinking more historically. Imagined it as living seasick on a gross packed ship of men eating the same old food. Always at risk of scurvy, being arrested or killed. The boat can sink at any time. No hygiene. Few people respect you since you are an outlaw. Then you have to risk your life killing innocent people to steal stuff.
Thanks for the quality comment. It really is difficult to define since the sense of self is just a concept to begin with.
By being yourself, I would take that to mean being true to your intentions, interests, and general demeanor in the moment. All those can change with time.
Avoiding things like pretending to be interested in sports, pretending to hate comics, pretending to be a “player”, pretending to be overly macho, hiding politics, etc are all things that I have seen people do. If your interests change that’s normal but I wouldn’t recommend feigning things that are untrue for you in the moment.
I think aspiring for self improvement would still count as being true to yourself if you genuinely want to improve.
Just be yourself also is good advice. Not that it will always be successful in advancing the relationship. But it will be less stressful for you and prevent you from wasting years of your life with someone who only likes you for your fake personality.
If you have a horrible personality work on that so just being yourself doesn’t mean being an asshole. Even then though at least anyone getting into the relationship will know that ahead of time and not after the divorce.
In your case as a discriminated minority this is a natural defense mechanism. You are going to be on the alert for people who based on demographics are more likely to be hostile towards you based on past experiences and trauma.
Some countries are much more hostile towards anyone lgbt than others so unfortunately those views might carry over.
What you can do is be aware of the bias. Don’t let your guard down until you get to know the person. Don’t let their race or nationality prevent you from getting to know them. If they prove to be discriminatory or dangerous then it’s healthy to set boundaries. You don’t need to feel guilty for not liking an individual person who is actively discriminating against you.