It sounds like you have a psycho living beneath you and they have one above them.

And other ones of us are just idiots.

Maybe it would just double the friction.

I’ve always wanted to fuck my own ass.

About fifteen minutes ago.

The third and fourth stairs leading to my second floor are rotted out and I’m too lazy to replace them so it’s a couple times a day.

A dozen devilled eggs and a bottle of rum gave me some of the most hellish shits I’ve ever had.

Until you get a pounding headache from the two lenses being different levels of tint.

That happened to me.

I always ask for the same thing.

A rare steak and messy anal.

¯/⸦(סּ͡͡‎෴סּ͡͡‎)⸧\¯

Enjoy your existence, I’ll enjoy mine.

Have a nice day.

Did this comment make your life any fuller or better in any way?

Why would I be embarrassed about that story?

I share it with my friends because it’s fucking hilarious.

Hopefully it’s not shit.

Last year I shit myself while trying to open my door and get to the bathroom.

I dropped my keys while I was trying to unlock the door and ended up with shit in my shoes that I had to throw away.

I never bring that up on dates.

Then why speak of it?

I don’t talk about previous sexual partners with new ones.

Do you make use of the sex workers while in the relationship with the new partner?

Once I slept with my best friends mom and got him an ice cream cake after that said ‘sorry I banged your mom four times last night.’

We don’t talk much anymore.

It’s just Alabama things.

This goes great with sister fucking.

What the f**k?