The stuff that is heavier than water ends up in the river delta, everything else dilutes into the ocean. Once it’s in the ocean, there’s not much humans can do about it. Promoting populations of sea grass and filter feeders like mussels can at least capture pollution in a form that settles to the seabed and improves water quality.
There will be pockets of pollution that persist for a long time, and floodwaters could stir some of that back up, but the above poster is correct. Cleaning up a river can be as simple as stopping the sources of the pollution. A dirty river is dirty because stuff keeps getting added to it. Of course stopping sources of pollution is way easier said than done.
You may need to double the flow. With the water powered jet packs the water isn’t just being accelerated from a standstill. The water is first flowing up with close to the same speed and is redirected down. So the momentum exchange is twice what it would be if the water were stored in tanks with the flyer.
Two suggestions: run a humidifier. Preferably use a steam one with distilled water. The ultrasonic cool mist ones introduce any minerals and bacteria that are in the water into the air.
The easiest suggestion is to change your blanket. I’m guessing you’re wrapping yourself in a fuzzy fleece blanket. Synthetic fibers like polyester transfer way more static charge than natural fibers. Try looking for a cotton or wool throw. Or for something fuzzy, find a sheep pelt with wool on it. Even using a cotton sheet between you and your current blanket should reduce the amount of charge buildup.
A side benefit of changing blanket materials, is that any blanket that generates a lot of static charge also holds loads of dust and pet hairs. A less static generating blanket will stay cleaner longer.
The easiest way to discharge is to touch a metal faucet. If you have copper pipes, they’ll be grounded, but even just the tap water is conductive enough to dissipate most of the charge.
Get a job at a turkey processing plant.