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Joined 1Y ago
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Cake day: Feb 22, 2024

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I find the point being looking at toxic traits and seeing what the normal version of that is. In example: Men showing emotion being viewed as weak, and other men bullying or belittling those that do. Obviously you’re not going to pursue being more emotional, but you can be there for young boys that are in your life and tell them it’s okay to experience these things. Teach proper coping mechanisms, or learn them yourself if you need to. Another example would be wardrobe. My dad was huge on black being some sort of gateway to god knows wtf he thought. Also thought dudes wearing nail polish was absolutely unacceptable. Am I going to go around trying to force myself to wear those things now? Nah, not my style, but if my kids want to wear certain colors or paint their nails I’ll make damn sure they done feel immasculated because of those choices. Idk it’s weird to me to paint things definitively as ‘healthy masculinity’ and more of a ‘these behaviors obviously aren’t normal’. Healthy masculinity would be just returning to being a normal, feeling, caring human being. Maybe my view is skewed or something, idk. Happy to hear what others think.


Yup this is exactly the argument I bring when it comes to this. People act like female leads just suddenly started to exist, and usually get irritated if I state those particular movies suck. A character being female or gay should not be the entirety of that characters use in the movie. If the story is done we’ll and they happen to be female, gay, trans, whatever, and those things compliment and show a strength they wouldn’t have otherwise and assist them in the story: Fucking fantastic. But that’s not what we are getting majority of the time. We get ‘hey this character is female therefore this movie is amazing’. Nah.

Examples of well written female leads off the top of my head:

The Hunt (2020): I actually reference this one specifically because it destroys the trope of ‘females being weak and needing rescue’. This chick flips the whole movie on its head.

Kate (2021): Another action film (sorry) but more of the same. Well written gritty main character who happens to be female.

Everything, everywhere, All at Once: Pretty much everyone knows this movie at this point. I wanted to include this one specifically because it’s an example of being well written characters and story where being female is a strength and deepens the story and characters. The mother / daughter connection and the turmoil of growing children, etc makes the movie. Arguably it would be worse if they tried to replace them with men and have the same impact.

I could keep going but by this point I’m sure I’m beating a dead horse.


If you don’t mind sharing, how difficult was/is the immigration process? Are there stipulations and things you have to pass?