Quit school (college level, but where I am it’s just another part of school) when I could (I had the right age to make it my business), without ever discussing the matter. Just came home and said I quit school.

Edit: Oh damn you wanted a reason. School was hell for me, I hated everything about it. I had spent about 6 months exclusively doing the classes I was interested in and nobody even took notice. I figured they weren’t gonna kick me out at that point, so I quit.

One weekend when I was in high school, back when burning CDs was popular, I had a little extra space so I downloaded “Enter Sandman” and threw it as the last track on the CD. My dad asked me to go run an errand on Sunday so naturally I got my new CD and put it in his car’s CD player, listening to the first half of it before I returned.

That Monday, he gets home from work and he storms into my room absolutely furious and with no other context yells “SUCK A CAMEL’S ASS, HUH? REAL NICE!” before slamming the door. I have no idea what he is talking about but I wasn’t about to question my angry father and just stood there in shock. A couple weeks later I add that “Enter Sandman” file to a playlist and only to find it is actually the song “Suck a Caribou’s Ass” by Wesley Willis at a horrendous bitrate so it is super loud. I went to tell him it was an accident, but trying to explain to your dad what Kazaa was and how prevalent mislabeled songs were on there worked as well as explaining Islam to your pet hamster. He was adamant I did it on purpose.

To this day if I bring it up he still gets super annoyed and refuses to believe me.

I got caught stealing cigarettes.

I was like 16 I think and a delinquent to be sure, but not a very smart one. I was out of smokes and went to the grocery store to get more, grabbed a pack off the shelf, then realized the woman who usually kept an eye on the smokes wasn’t around so I started eyeing those cartons. I shoved 4 of those fucking things into my jacket, it was so obvious it was funny, and naturally they caught me on the way out and called the police.

I was also drunk at the time (listen, it was the 80s, it was a different time…) so I ended up having to take some bullshit 6 week class and go to AA meetings for 3 months which sucked, but by far the worst was when the police walked me up to the house and it was clear that they had already talked to mom cause man she was pissed. I don’t even remember what the punishment was, but instead of yelling at me or lecturing and guilt-tripping me she just sat there not even looking at or talking to me for like an hour, and that was the worst.

I have never done this. If I thought something would pissy parents off, I either didn’t do it or didn’t tell them.