I just got ghosted by the girl I was talking to, I want to find another girl to talk to. This girl and I met at the gym, but I donāt want to be the guy that goes to the gym just to meet girls. I mean sure thereās the bar and Tinder, but I want a real relationship. I mean, I guess itāll come to me.
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Maybe a relationship will just come to you and maybe it wonāt. A lot of the advice you get in these kind of threads is like ājust be yourselfā or ādonāt be desperateā or ābe comfortable on your ownā or whatever. None of that ever worked for me. I was never able to just be myself or be on my own without feeling lonely and desperate and that made me seem weird and off-putting to potential partners. Honestly it took recognizing my mental issues, getting serious about finding a solution to them, and working on them for a while before I was able to act like a normal human around someone I was attracted to. In the end what worked for me was a combination of Buddhist meditation and some kind of therapy. But everyone is different. YMMV.
On the other hand maybe you are perfectly comfortable in yourself, are handsome and charming, and have no trouble talking with women, but you just met some women with issues of their own. If so, just try to get out more and meet more people. In that case itās a numbers game and eventually youāll find the right one.
No matter what so many people say, itās not mandatory to have a partner!
Invest your effort in figuring out how to live with yourself. Build a life worth living on your own.
A right person might come, or not. But at least you didnāt waste your life chasing wrong goals.
And also, all relationships are valuable. A good friendship is a wonderful boon to your mental healthā¦ and if youāre seeking a relationship for sex there are far easier ways to do it.
Also, expanding on that, if you go into every interaction with a narrow expectation (e.g. to find the love of your life) you will be disappointed almost all the time but if you keep an open mind you might come out of that with some other positive interactions (a new friend, an interesting conversation, ā¦) than you expected or were hoping for.