I love the thought of people thinking of me obsessively and wanting to be just like me.
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Jealous/envious of me? No.
Impressed by me? Yes.
Inspired by me? Double Yes.
Learn a cautionary tale from me? No.
Edit: proofreading betterâŚ
Too late, cautionary tale learned. Jk.
My phone keyboard is bad. Fantastically bad. I suck at proofreading, but shit is it bad.
Anyway, cleaning up my terrible editing. Thanks for highlighting it. đ
Any time! I make typos constantly, so feel free to point mine out in turn.
I second this
Hereâs the thing tho. Nobody thinks about you even 1% of what you think they do. It seems like youre saying, âI need validation and want to be a part of the bigger world outside my ownâ which is totally fair. Itâs even healthy, especially when compared to escapism and isolation. If your actions and behavior cause people to have a negative reaction, i.e. jealousy, obsessions, I encourage you to reevaluate whatâs within yourself that desires that negative attention. People will think of you far far more if your behavior and actions gives those around you positive reactions. Trade the desire to make them jealous for inspiring them by being a healthy, upstanding rolemodel. Trade âIâ statements for âyouâ questions. People crave and are drawn to those who show an interest in them, just as you admit to in this post. Make the world a better place, not a more anxious place and youâll find all that attention you desire becomes a far more reasonably attainable goal.
⌠do people actually do that? As in, is strong jealousy really a thing?
Iâd like to believe that each of us builds their life into the exact thing they need, so swapping places with anyone else would be terribly uncomfortable. So I canât relate as to why anyone would ever be jealous i guess haha
I also donât get your other replier. I too like the life Iâm building but I would appreciate swapping with not having to worry about money haha
Pardon me, but you sound very privileged here, in the spiritual sense of âstop being poorâ or âjust donât be depressedâ etc.
If that was your intention, youâve succeeded admirably.
Iâm both depressed and grew up poor so idk what youâre on about
Getting jealous at people who appear to have it better isnât exactly a productive solution to either of those
An average person doesnât mechanically compartmentalize emotions and puts them aside because they arenât âproductive solutionsâ.
Itâs good for you that youâve managed this kind of selfcontrol in order to improve your life. But thatâs because youâve numbed down the things that do you harm.
A person that isnât depressed doesnât have that kind of âbenefitâ. Emotions run freely and wild without fear. And cause all kinds of trouble.
Lovers being jealous of outside attention to the point of madness.
Siblings being jealous of biased parental love to end up estranged.
Children in patched up clothes on the streets begging or on the fields working - being jealous of children dressed in brand new school uniforms and going to school together.
Any person in a hospital bed with a terminal illness watching through the window the world living a life they canât have.
And so many other examplesâŚ
Productive solutions donât mean shit when it comes to strong emotions and jealousy can be very strong at times. Strong enough to murder even. I mean forget about the world-ending news regurgitation, at the local level where the average person lives, jealousy is high up in ranking as a reason for commiting crimes.
Thatâs all clear examples of emotional disregulation.
Youâre not wrong that you canât help what you feel, but everyone has an amount of control and responsibility for how they react to their own feelings, and is ultimately responsible for their own actions regardless of the strength of their emotions.
If you live in an environment where people regularly excuse shitty, violent, or abusive behavior by using their emotions as an excuse for it, please understand that is not healthy behavior.
You donât seem to understand. There is no country on this planet that doesnât have at least one abnormal living environment within. And the people living in such types of environment donât have the luxury of entertaining your kind of psychological snobbism/elitism.
You talk of ideals, not reality. From the role of an observer, not a participant. Your advice is superficial nonsense from a position of safety and comfort.
I mean, what planet have you been living on until now?
Oh my god crawl out of your own ass. You donât know me or what Iâve been through, and your assertion that someone could only say this sort of thing if they never experienced that kind of trauma is asinine and insulting.
This isnât elitism, or any other label youâve got up your sleeve to make it easy to dismiss because you donât agree with it.
Itâs excruciatingly won life experience. Iâm not going to apologize for calling what youâve described what it is.
Yes, people are not compartmentalized automatons. But itâs just as ridiculous to argue that people are complete slaves to their emotions to the point of violence, or that itâs OK that they are.
Actual well adjusted adults are, in general, able to control their response to their own emotions. If they arenât able to do that to the extreme degree of the examples you used, that is emotional disregulation. Thatâs literally the term for it.
As I said before, if you find yourself surrounded by people who canât, do whatever you can to keep yourself safe and get out as soon as you can. If itâs family, limit your exposure or go no contact.
I know that sucks to hear when youâre stuck in the unsafe situation, or when you have to rely on those people financially or otherwise. But for your own safety you need to make an exit plan that you can work towards.
There are plenty of people out there who wonât go out beating people or murdering after a bad day, or even after a bad couple of years. You donât have to live in a situation with people who do/would, despite how hard it may be to get out.
For fucks sake, in the past few days I called out someone for making a suggestion to someone living in an unsafe situation that seemed kind on the surface but would put them in more danger. Something I know from personal experience.
I wouldnât be here if I hadnât got out. At best I would have only killed myself.
I ran from a dangerous situation living with my parents, eight hours away to what I thought was a safe new start and a path forward for my life. I had to move back in with my dangerous situation parents because the person I thought I had my new start with was stealing from what was supposed to be my new support network, and they couldnât take the risk that I was part of the thefts. I wasnât. I watched my plans for my life crumble instantly while I had to go back to where I tried to escape. Relationship I built over a quarter of my life, trashed. My safe place, my advocate, had been a liar and a thief from the start and I was too blind to see it.
And before you try to squirm around more with shit like âclearly you havenât interacted with the public in a long time or worked retailâ or some shit like that: I worked a total of 8 years between retail and tech support.
Great speech, really, but why arenât you getting it? Itâs not about you or me or the commenter i started the chain with. This was their comment:
Are you and all the people up voting that comment really unable to grasp that there are people who actually do that? That strong jealousy really is a thing?
You kept deviating with your own sad stories, hope and self-control and get out from the bad environment.
But this is about them, the people that get left behind, that donât crawl out and escape, that donât get to build their lives into the exact thing they need. So that swapping places with literally anyone else would be fucking awesome to them.
Thatâs why I said youâre sitting on a high horse, you canât seem to relate to them.
God job on making it out though. Though they might have moments of jealousy, Iâm sure most of the people that couldnât do the same are proud and thankful you can be an example to them. (Not sarcasm, if youâre interpreting that way. You only saw those earlier examples and seemed deadset on them being the only kind there is.)
Tag was accurate
Youâre thinking of envy, not jealousy so much: Envy is when you want something someone else has, jealousy is when you donât want others to have what you have.
I wouldnât want people to be jealous of me, people act very poorly when they are jealous.
Emphatically no. I cut people concerned with jealousy out of my life. That shitâs toxic.
I dont know you, but this sounds like narcissistic personality disorder.
Itâs a common symptom of it.
Look through their post history lol
Nah Iâd rather they leave me the fuck alone and focus on their own shit. But I have nothing for anyone to be jealous of I donât think.
Iâm jealous of how remarkably average you are.
The thing about jealousy isnât it ainât about the object, it is all about âmuhh feelsâ
And you would surprised how deranged people can get lol
I remember your handle - IIRC you posted before about having Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Wanting people to be jealous of you seems apropos.
No, i wouldnât like to be a center of attention.
No, that would make me a narcessist
No, to be honest Iâd prefer not being perceived at all
Nah. Iâd rather go unnoticed by everyone outside those I love.
The older you get, the less you care.
After 30, it is very hard to give a fuck about anything beyond having a fat bank account to care of your dependants.
Idk man, Iâm past 30 and I care less that I have money and mode that everyone I love has what they need.
Iâm over 30 and see true wealth as a measure of the love I give and receive. You canât buy that.
Yes exactly!
Only people I really dislike. For everyone else, no, I donât need or want their jealousy.
God no. I wouldnât want to be jealous of me