I can’t even afford taking care of myself but if I have kid, I would adopt instead of “making my own kid”. Why not this is not popular? These kids already came to this shithole (world) and we’re just ignoring them.
I know the answer actually, we’re just slave to our instincts…
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Adopting is often incredibly incredibly expensive and it can sometimes take years of extensive interviewing, paperwork, and procedures to go through even if you have the money.
Breeding should be like this as well. So many really bad parents…
Yeah, but evolution don’t care about that.
This… My parents shouldn’t have had kids… I wish assholes were sterile…
You don’t get kids from the asshole…
Ok
Yeah, everyone I know who adopted did so as a last resort and had a long expensive miserable slog of it; once you get through that experience it’s just as satisfying as having a biological kid, but it’s no picnic.
And depending on where you are the biological parents may be able to reclaim them at some point. My sister looked into it in my country and determined that they never really became your children, you were just taking care of them until they either grew up or their parents came back for them. I can’t imagine taking care of a child for years, treating it like your own, and then a stranger just coming and taking it back (and possibly taking it into a terrible environment).
All the adopted kids I grew up with were adopted from overseas and now I understand why.
Adopting a baby is insanely expensive. More so than giving birth. They are absolutely sold for insane prices, it’s messed up but that’s how it is. There is huge demand, lots of people want to adopt babies.
Adopting older children is seen as a terrible idea because they are “universally fucked up” and will have behavioral problems, mental illness, etc.
Babies happen by accident all the time
My friends were telling me, that my wife and I are not capable of raising a traumatized child from 7 or 10 or whatever.
The third sentence… I don’t want to understand and accept it…
What is so hard to understand? A ton of pregnancies are accidental. You may be from a place that demonizes or covers it up, but it happens. Your lack of acceptance does not change the facts.
What does that mean?
He refuses to believe that there is demand for adoption but that red tape has made it a less than desirable path.
Edit: apparently the reality is a bit sadder than that
It’s #3 he doesn’t get, not sentence 3. In another comment he mentions believing that accidental pregnancies never happen in his country.
That’s twilight zone weird
You ignoring the fact that most of newborn are just mistakes and only few planning to have a kids. Is not popular adopting because isnt also actually planning parenthood, never was from beginning of human history.
Never was? Is this what happens in North America? Because in my old country nobody makes kids “randomly/accidentally”… Actually it explains a lot that mentally ill people are increasing, because parents abuse their kids without being aware of.
?? What country is that where unplanned pregnancies don’t exist?
I can assure you…even if it’s seen as taboo in your country, it still happens.
Adoption always comes with a certain level of trauma that not all people are prepared to help the child work through. There are also a lot of unknowns that come with it that can be challenging, both medically and behaviorally, that are lessened by having a biological child.
Naturally, it’s also much more straightforward to have your own kid if there aren’t fertility issues.
The bureaucratic process for adoption is terrible. That’s the main reason I can think of for not adopting. That said, if I could trust myself to be a mom, I’d bypass said process. I even have some adoption vows (like wedding vows but for adoption) saved in case such a time comes.
My gay friends looked into adopting but eventually concluded that going through a surrogate was actually faster and cheaper than trying to adopt a healthy baby.
(It’s easier to adopt children with health issues or older children, but there are obvious reasons why would-be parents would prefer not to do that.)
Plus, it’s unpopular to say this but genetics matters. Many important traits (e.g. IQ) are highly heritable and parents who can’t or won’t care for their own children are probably a population with worse-than-average genetic assets.
Because more people are narcissistic than society wants to admit and they think a kid of their bloodline would be better than anything they would find at an orphanage. Also, they don’t care if they could make an orphan’s life better if they don’t care about the orphan in the first place.
It’s not a blood superiority thing, dude - we’re instinctually driven to procreate. If for whatever reason you can’t or don’t want to do that, you can adopt a kid and love them exactly as much and in exactly the same way as you would your biological offspring, but the idea of conceiving and bearing a child appeals to a very basic part of human nature for a lot of us.
Getting off topic now, but I find it so odd that I’m not a person driven to do that. Makes me feel like I’m disconnected from the human race.
Long ago I stumbled across the asexual community, but I don’t relate to them either. The vast majority of them still have sexual urges and are driven to masturbate. They just don’t feel like they need a partner to do so. I don’t even seem to have the ability to do so let alone the urge. So I can’t relate to even them.
It makes me kind of feel left out of being human, tbh. And it can be rather disconnecting from others.
Not a late bloomer either. I’m almost 30. Although I have always wondered what would happen if I took MDMA.
The urge to fuck absolutely develops before the urge to procreate.
Sure, but after years of fucking one can eventually find oneself feeling a biological urge to procreate as well.
I don’t know if practice is the mechanism at play but I’ll ask around
Wow, that’s a really horrible and judgemental take.
Maybe, but I find it accurate.
Really? You find it accurate that many people who want biological children want them over adopting because they dislike/hate orphans?
Where on earth did you get “dislike” or “hate” from StarkillerX42’s comments?! I read the following…
People are largely biased towards their own (genetic) offspring over other children.
People are largely indifferent to orphans.
Both of these seem self-evidently true and utterly uncontroversial to me.
Moreover, the bias towards one’s own genetic offspring is, by definition, narcissistic, although we can largely be forgiven for that, since it amounts to an involuntary imperative with clear evolutionary origins.
Not really. I know some people who says “Why would I take care of bastards’ kids?”…
That might be those people’s answer to why they wouldn’t adopt, but I’d put a lot of money down that the majority of people who want their own kids feel that way for reasons that are far more nuanced, and far less rooted in hate, than “fuck orphans”.