I remember experiencing the world much more vividly when I was a little boy.
I would step outside on an autumn evening and feel joy as the cool breeze rustled the leaves and caressed my skin. In the summers, I would listen to the orchestra of insects buzzing around me. I would waddle out of the cold swimming pool and the most wonderful shiver would cascade out of me as I peed in the bathroom. In the winters, I would get mesmerized by the simple sound of my boots crunching the snow under me.
These were not experiences that I actively sought out. They just happened. I did not need to stop to smell the figurative roses, the roses themselves would stop me in my tracks.
As I got older, I started feeling less and less and thinking more and more.
I’ve tried meditation, recreation, vacation, resignation, and medication. Some of these things have helped but I am still left wondering… is this a side effect of getting older? Or is there something wrong with me?
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I am no doctor but I remember hearing one of the warning signs of depression can be the absence of feeling. It is certainly one of mine.
Ehh…I disagree with this if we are specifically talking about what the OP is referring to.
When you’re a child, everything is new, making all of it exciting. For example…as a child, OP had only experienced winter a few times. As an adult, they’ve experienced countless winters. It becomes routine instead of new and so it fades into the background. And with adult obligations to worry about, we don’t have that worry free child mind that can drift off like that. It’s just part of getting older.
OP, sometimes it’s worth making a conscious decision to stop and take a moment to notice and experience your surroundings. There’s a thunderstorm outside? Grab a warm cup of coffee and just try to watch and listen for a moment. If possible, open a window (that won’t let rain in) or sit outside under an awning and just take in all of your senses. Go out for a walk without any music and without using your phone. Try to look at the trees and birds around you and take it in. Smell the air…has the grass been recently cut? Has it rained recently? Is there mud around? Is someone nearby grilling some food? Are there leaves on the ground? Try stepping on one. Do they crunch or are they soft and wet?
As a child, everything is new. As an adult, it’s routine and boring. But you can still manage to capture a small bit of this feeling back if you actively decide to stop from time to time and consciously try to take in your surroundings for a moment. Stop and try to feel all of your senses.
You can never make these feelings new again, but sometimes I find some satisfaction in watching and listening to the world around me.
Both perspectives are true and effort is the key in either case.
Not everyone is destined to lose appreciation for the moment, regardless of “newness”.
Nor is everyone so easily adept at willing it to be so.
But engaged awareness, to your point, is a helpful consideration to be sure!
What a great tool to reach for!
Photography helped me with this, and I know not everyone is creative, but editing photos personally helped me find some wonder. You can do so much with perspective and change an image into something completely different with just the right modifications… Anyway. The world is shifty and we have all been in it too long and are Hella jaded. You just have to find novel things, even if it is harder for our brains to view that way, we can even trick our brains by doing mundane things in a new way. Like for instance instead of shaving in the shower or bathroom, go outside into nature, bring a mirror and shave there. I remember Michio Kaku saying something like this and the added bonus is it will make your life feel longer too, since it is adding novelty, your brain doesn’t just go into autopilot.
For everyone wondering whether or not they’re depressed, there is a tool doctors use called the Beck Depression Inventory (BDI), broadly available online as a PDF. If you score high talk to your doctor about it. Take good care of yourselves fellow lemmings.
Additionally, mindfulness sometimes gets a bad rep but it’s an awesome way to reconnect with your ‘feeling’ side. There are many apps, I found one that really works for me and it’s awesome.
I recently read that in a neurotypical human being, the succession of two experiences only has a big impact on brain activity for the first experience, while the second makes a smaller spike. In psychotic patients on the other hand, the impression makes two equally large spikes both times. In the experiment, the experience was hearing a ballpoint pen click. So maybe being dulled to former experience is important for the brain to function properly, just a side effect of our natural brain filter.
That’s sad, but comforting in a way.
The prefrontal lobe is the part of your brain responsible for saying “hush”
i.e. that’s not a novel idea/stimulus anymore
This makes a lot of sense to me. I am trying to link it to survival and evolution, but can’t pin anything down off the top of my head. I’m going to continue mulling it over though.
Yeah, it is normal, but it also sounds like depression.
When your older, you understand how shitty the world really is, and shatters any hope you ever had.
I thought the world was so awesome, space is so vast, the world so interconnected, technology, communication across the whole world, we have flying machines, we (as in humanity) went to the moon, we have machines on mars, we might reverse aging…
Then, the realization that we are alone in space, the universe doesn’t care about us, technology is being used for mass surveillance, censorship and propaganda, false information, carbon emissions, recession to authoritarianism, discrimination, etc…
I wish I could be naive and happy as I used to be, but once you grow up, you understand how fucked up thw world is. Its hard to have hope again.
I’m diagnosed with depression, but maybe depression is just the realization of the horrible truth of the world.
I think being depressed is perfectly natural when being on this planet. But since it makes your life worse, it’s important to know how to think about something else so you don’t feel sad all the time (which is natural considering how shitty it all is). Human leaders are at a very primitive stage of mental evolution and we all suffer because of that.
I get excited about computers and tech so I focus a lot on that in my life. You need to find something that feels fun and exciting despite the world being shit. Also I stopped watching news like 15 years ago and I’m ignorant now of all the things that happen every day. Feels better.
I used to think it was foolish to be disconnected from the news and current events, but now I think the opposite is true.
It’s much better for mental health at least. You won’t know about all the stuff that happens every day, but I feel like it’s all useless knowledge anyway.
You will start to feel disgusted by those people on the TV. News anchors, presidents, celebrities, fed chairman’s or whatever it is. They are all inside the matrix 100%.
I think there’s definitely something healthy behind the idea that depression is actually a fairly natural or reasonable state, however hard and painful it can be. Especially for anyone that wants to be mindful of the danger of psychopaths or sociopaths who are probably the types of people that seem oddly immune or unable to understand or empathise with depression.
Otherwise, I’ll just say that a “second childhood” can be a thing (as far as I can tell), where all of the concerns of middle age fade away and we’re forced to wrestle, naively perhaps, with the sheer reality of existing.
My therapist said to me the other day that anxiety is the brain’s survival mechanism and depression is “Safe mode.” It’s so hard in the modern world for most people to find the in between because there is so much to give us anxiety and make us feel like we are in danger and so of course since the body always seeks homeostasis, depression is sure to follow. It’s like an up and down Rollercoaster with no end.
I’m sure it also has something to do with that when you get older, you’ve had those experiences many more times than as a child. They just don’t feel that specia anymore.l
Wow, that rings brutal, but true. “Childlike wonder” is truly special.
This is also why days feel faster as you age. More repetition and your brain doesn’t need to form as much new memories.
Want to live longer? Experience more novelty!
Try LSD. It’s like being a kid again.
Or mushrooms.
Ops not joking. It literally allows your brain to create new pathways instead of being stuck with the same boring bullshit that repeats in daily life.
Just make sure you dose right and teach yourself in a proper way instead of taking what some friend hands you to “tRiP bAlLzzz, mannn”. Treat it like medicine.
Couldn’t agree more, I use psychadelics a few times a year, and nothing brings be to that same feeling OP was describing like LSD or mushrooms. Some of the best conversations and experiences I’ve ever had agave been on psychedelics, I laugh till I cry almost everytime I’ve done them. have had bad trips in my life, but I feel like Set and Setting are hugley important as well as having respect for the drug. Overall highly recommend.
I came here to say that as well. Or, as @vd1n says, mushrooms. It really helps remind you that the world is wondrous, and even after it’s over, it makes it easier to see the joy in everything.
I never did mushrooms and only did LSD like 5 times. But one time I contemplated the multitude of grass types when laying down on a meadow. Another time was on a short mountain trip, landed at a tourist shelter, there was a melody in all the kitchen noises. Also observing the tiny ecosystem at the riverside is something I will never forget. I don’t have this kind of patience or ability to being fascinated with the mundane normally.
I understand what you mean, I have the same feeling - everything is a but less vivid now.
I am no expert, but my guess that is happening because you have much more experience with the world now. As we age, the number of things that will be completely new to us becomes smaller and smaller. We just have more experience, and even if we haven’t seen/felt/heard something particular, chances are, that your brain still won’t be completely surprised - it will be able to find some experiences that you have which are close to that new thing.
But when you are a kid - there is a whole world of things you didn’t experience at all or didn’t experience enough to understand fully. That’s why everything was so vivid - there was a lot of “truly” new experiences.
Do shrooms that feeling will come right back
Reach ego death and that feeling will go away forever.
Even that wears off youngling.
Not always true. But usually worth a shot.
For me it was gay sex that did it
Oh you
I was going to suggest that, but wanted to see if any other people would. It has helped me anecdotally, and many other people. There are studies being done at universities that prove psilocybin help with mental and behavior issues.
Obviously don’t just take my word for it. Look into it. Have a trip sitter or someone experienced that can talk you through your thoughts if you need it.
yeah, as long as you treat the experience with the respect it deserves it’s beneficial, people get into trouble with it when they mix it with other drugs or just take it with no considerations
100% agree with this. Ever since getting into shrooms the world has become so much more alive and I feel far better about life in general. I run a community for magic and mysticism if anyone is interested called !magic@wizanons.dev which focuses on this type of discussion. Anyone is welcome to join the discussion or ask questions.
Getting to the point in life where you realize how the sausage is made, packaged, marketed, distributed, sold, cooked, consumed, digested, defecated, flushed, mixed with other waste, and either separated into solids and liquids or dumped into the ocean will do that to you.
It’s do with living in the moment vs spending your time thinking about what you did or worrying about what the future might bring, IMHO.
We become way more prone to spend our time doing things like thinking about stuff we did (and how we miss it if it was good or could’ve done it better if it was bad) and worrying about what the future can bring (and not necessarily in grand terms: somethingas simple as “I have to get a haircut” which then goes one to “when will I have the time”, then “but I need that time for X” and so on) as we grow older.
You absolutelly can still have some moments of wonder (for things as simple as how a cobweb looks with droplets of morning mist on it) but you need to be present there in mind also, not just in body, and not to not let some memory or concern rush in to take your mental attention away from the now.
I had a point in my life with a ton of anxiety and ended up learning Mindfulness (which is simply to try and not say anything to yourself in your mind, which is surprisingly hard to do for more than a few seconds) to stop the feeling (if you’re not constantly looking back to something bad or fearing for something bad in the future you don’t feel anxious about those things) and as a side effect I ended up with the habit of being more often present in the moment and that’s how you just enjoy little wonders when you come across them.
Still, it’s nowhere at the level one has as a kid.
Fully recommend the psychedelics BUT it’s not for everyone.
Practice mindfulness through meditation.
Psychedelics do what that does but does so through explosive force, lol.
Mindfulness is so fundamentally critical to feeling alive again. That breeze still exists. The sound of the cicadas buzzing away is still there. The scent of rain still permeates.
Meditation isn’t going “ohmmmmm🧘”. It’s a practice of clearing your mind, and living through your senses. Discerning your existence through means other than thought.
When you were a kid, you didn’t have the capacity to only think like you do now. You were jumping between thought and raw sensory analysis. You were both free and grounded through your senses.
It’s about finding a balance that as a kid you couldn’t obtain, and that as an adult you have forsaken.
Good luck friend. Just know that you can get back to that.
Edit: I’d like to add that you practice until it’s second nature, and you become much more aware as a result. You won’t need to stop to smell those roses - they will grab your attention.
I’ve occasionally referred to psychedelics as ‘microwave Buddhism’
It’s kind of the opposite for me. Like many people said, when you are young, every experience mostly feels new. However, when everything feels new to you, there’s really nothing special about it. For me, I always embraced the familiar. I look back at my memories of family vacations with disappointment, because as everyone else was wanting to go and do fun things, I was complaining about how I would rather be watching TV or playing my gameboy. Now as an adult, I understand how precious our experiences can be. I look out at a mountain and I appreciate the beauty of it. I think about the history that has taken place around it. I think about how other people might have experienced it. I get so much more from it than I ever would have as a child.
Same here. It simply comes from within. Everything now is so special because I’m aware how fleeting everything is.
Thanks for your comment. It resonated a lot with my experience.
That’s exactly why we do drugs
'cause ya never know when your gonna go!
Well firstly your senses do start dulling (eyesight, hearing), and secondly you have way more context on the world itself (the mortgage bond, climate change, pollution, family responsibilities, social media trolls, the fragility of bones and life, etc). So I suppose your brain is less focussed on the moment, and you’ve got a bit cynical about life ;-)
I accept that the way I looked at life and moments at 15, 25 and 50 are fairly different. Decisions I took at 25 were right for me then, but today I would have decided differently, but then I would not be where I am today either.
If you read up on how our brains age, it’s basically pruning neuron branches. While this is a good thing up to a point, the pruning process continues well past our brains’ peak performance because evolution is done with you at that point, I.e. you had your kids by then.
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/nov/19/brain-tree-why-we-replenish-only-some-of-our-cells